No, New Years isn't the proper day for reflections. At least not for me.

Since it is my Anniversary of my Would-Be-Death-Day (Happy Valentines Day, by the way,) I felt compelled to at least write something. Especially considering I've been absent for so long.

My lady "Love" has flown from view. But part of me isn't very surprised, that's just how things work out.

Yet, at the same time, I'm shown how really important things are to me. Places, people, everything. How important living is to me. It's kind of interesting, really. Of all the days the feel alive, it's this one. I see my life, and how open the road is. It's.. interesting. I've been taking things way too seriously. I've been trying to find meaning in things that have none. And it just doesn't matter. Especially allowing that fact to even cross my mind. I feel like a damn scientist at times. Trying to figuring how things work, and the mechanics behind everything -- the purpose.

It's only really dawned on me now that things don't need purpose to go on. Things continue to flow, and we need to look past all the bullshit and see life as just something. There to be whatever we make up it.

It's been so long since I've picked myself back up. For the longest time I thought I was dreaming. For the longest time I thought this world was such a wretched place. I mean, I still partially get away, but in different terms.

Regardless, my state of mind is improving. Fuck these counsellors and psychologists and medications. I forge my own path by leaning on myself. No longer crying for help and trying so desperately to seek people to lean on. I'm done. Finished. I almost feel as if I have died, like I'm a totally different person.

Maybe this is just the path I'm supposed to take. I suppose I shouldn't let anything try to shove me off of it. This is the way to be.

This is my life.