Well, I figured that I'd continue to write, and more fully dump out my thoughts. Especially as I refresh my myspace-home page hoping to see a "New Message!" thingy appear. At least this will let me get lost in my day dreams and indulge in this happiness that has been injected into my life. A rare thing at that as well. But regardless, I'm still pleased by this. Despite contrary belief, I do actually like being happy. I like it alot.

Right now I'm at my friends' apartment, which I consider to be like a second home. Sam is sitting next to me playing WoW, as we listen to a Beck CD. It's pretty fun, but I don't have much to do. I was on EVE-Online a smidge, and showed him and brandon how it worked and operated, but stopped that really quickly. Maybe I'm just intimidated by the vastness of space. Either way, I can't really find that much to do, so here I am.

I've also been tossing the idea of going back to working on a story. And also not a World of Warcraft fanfic. As much as I enjoy writting those. I have the thoughts in my head, and lots of different story possibilities at that. But still. The problem I usually have with that, is I have specific scenes that happen in my mind. Vividly and full of detail kind of scenes. The problem lies in how to string them together so they make sense. I'm sure if I stuck at it, I could do it eventually, but for the most part I just don't bother. Maybe I should be more commited to my writtings. But whenever someone goes out of their way to read my crap, it's always, "Oh, it's so good!" Usually said by people who hate to read and probably didn't even bother to read my crap. But either way, maybe I should lighten up my caring in that sector. Too many little things bother me, le sigh.

Apart from that, I'm lost in my day dreams. I'm still afraid I'm going to wake up. But at the same time, usually when you're afraid of something, or worried about something, it usually happens. So maybe I can just quit being so focused on these things and let go a little bit. That would be.. really nice. Especially when it comes to this girl. (Referenced as in the post below) I'm half torn between just shutting up and not rambling on about her like a love-sick puppy dog for fear of being a total idiot, and between gushing out everything that I'm feeling with my head in the clouds. But regardless, I'm astonished. That is probably the best way to describe my thought process. It's as if everything that I ever wished for, Some wonderful and amazing girl to save me from myself and make me feel so much better about everything, has just walked into my life. Plus, the rate in which we're connecting, does not help my level of attachment that just continues to grow.  What is wrong with me? While I'm extremely happy, part of me at least wishes that I could be like a normal person and not get so overwhelmingly attached so quickly. Especially when I don't want to turn her off or scare her away. She told me that she won't be, but, I'm still so insane.

I wish I could get away from here. I don't mean from my friends' apartment, but rather this area that I'm stuck in within the world. My mind races to thoughts of being places were I could be happy, without care, even if my life is difficult, everything would be okay since I'm there and everything is fine. While we were talking before, I expressed these thoughts of just wishing to get away. Jokingly, she said that I could come live with her. Haha. Except.. That would be so wonderful. Normal people simply just dismiss these kinds as haha-funny kinds of things. But me, of course not. I just have to be an idiot. Letting my mind wander onto the possibilities and how happy and dreamy it would be to be with someone so wonderful, and to me, perfect. But normal people don't think like that. What's wrong with me?

Either way, I'm happy with how things are. And I don't ever want to wake up. I just need to keep my daydreams in check.