So.

Crappy. Day.

Really crappy. Although I'm not in the angry-rage-ness that I want to break anything I get my hands on, I'm more into the run-down sulky state. I hate this.

Well, EpiK killed Nefarian tonight. On their first attempt. And I missed it because I was going to see some fucknut counsellor. Again. Just like I missed two weeks ago Chromaggus (where the crossbow of smiting dropped) and the first Nefarian attempt. Granted, nothing really decent dropped, so I don't have to worry... But first Nefarian drop event. Biggest thing in Raid history for us. And I miss it. Why? Because I'm some screwed up angst filled teen that wanted to hack himself to pieces. Well, before I met Kaycie, anyway.  Granted, I haven't engaged in the slice and dicing for like 5 months. But there's still so much wrong with me! Gasp! I'm doomed! Give me a freaking break.

I really wish I could've been with Kaycie tonight. Just curl up with her and sulk while she holds me. That would've been wonderful. But since we're so far apart, I can only get silly emote-hugs, which still mean tons to me, but I'd really like to hug and cuddle with my Kaycie.. I hate feeling like crap. Worse yet, since I'm all depressed tonight, I didn't even talk to her much and she didn't have anyone else to talk to. Gah! Way to go Nik! Make the girl you're crazy about all un-happy-ish.  /sighs I feel so rotten now. I should've talked to her more, she means more to me than my game or whatever. Why can't I roll back time and blabber on all happy-like to her?

Guh, I hate feeling all sulky.

I wish I could just teleport over to her or something right this moment, and wrap my arms around her as she's trying to fall asleep, even if it was only for the briefest of brief moments that I'd be able to be with her. That'd be enough. I'd really love to hold my Kaycie right now. I really would. Bleh. Stupid freaking states in the way. Just you wait, country side! I'll have my driver's license eventually, and I'll be with my Kaycie. Eeeee.. Bleh. I wish I wasn't such an idiot. I should've talked to her more. Damnit.

So, I decided tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up early and watch some movies (Which means "a" movie.) and then try to get Kaycie on TS so we can talk. I really miss her purrrrdy voice. And.. I really like having someone to talk to. Joanne hated when I babbled on about games... and when she downright told me to knock it off, I didn't have anything to say. Am I that pathetic? That my world revolves around a girl and a game? I guess.. Maybe I am defective or something. Or too emotional. Or too unstable. Arg, I think too much.

I'm gonna sleep in my squishy awesome silver chair tonight. Throw some blankets and pillows on it and be all happy like. If my dad catches me up, he'll be furious. Don't really care. Thinking about Kaycie. I miss her already. Dangit. Screw parents. Screw the stupid problems. Screw all that crap. Nefarian isn't that big an issue, I shouldn't let it get me so down. At least I have Kaycie. I wonder if she's sleeping already. I miss her. Erg, I'm such a loser.

Well, I need to farm essence of air for tomorrow. +15 agi on my DS gloves, kthxbai. Then get the enchants for a +15 agi to 1h weapon enchant (expensive), and then another for my future mainhand weapon; Brutality Blade and/or axe off Nefarian (Even more expensive), then go back to working on leveling Morgall to 55 so he can use the AV honored rewards. And getting him and Val some cash. I'm so freaking broke.

And my head hurts.

Should probably take something for that, really. But medicine for the suck. I need to cheer up. I need to be in a better mood for Kaycie tomorrow. I'll read her Xanga and look at her pictures and her drawings. She's so very pretty. And cute. And adorable. I just want to smother her with hugs. I'll let the sulky thoughts wash away like the rain, or something. Cleansing. Yeah, cleansing sounds good.

Cleansing makes me think of paladin... Scratch that.

Tranquil. That's a good word. Yeah, tranquil. All peaceful and nice. Maybe my dreams will be pleasant tonight. Maybe I'll dream about Kaycie.

I hope so. I really miss her.

I'm such a dork.